TravelValue: Portland, Oregon: Washington

Showing posts with label Washington. Show all posts

Tuesday, June 5, 2018

Washougal, WA: No Bueno Compadres! ... Not Good Mate!

Los Dos Compadres

701 E Street

Washougal, WA 98671

Phone number (360) 335-1706

Website: They Do Not Have One

Prices: $$$$

I thought Mexican restaurants in the Midwest were bad ... until we moved to Portland, Oregon. I love Mexican food, but I would rather cook at home then eat the crap places like this put out.

I paid $20 plus tip ($24) for a dinner for one with NO DRINKS, only water, and all I had was a taco, enchilada, and chimichanga (it was actually a burrito) with refried beans and a small side of guacamole ($4.95). I like to have a margarita or a beer when I eat Mexican food, but I refuse to order drinks at restaurants that do not print drink prices on their menus. Soft drink prices were on the menu, but you have to guess how much the alcoholic drinks will be, meaning they are probably trying to gouge you.

The chips were store-bought, about the same quality as you can get at Safeway just down the street and the salsa likely out of a plastic tub. You apparently have to pay extra if you want more than one bowl of their mediocre chips. I asked if they had "hot" salsa, something every Mexican restaurant I have ever been to has, but was told "that's all we got". The guacamole was not bad and was well seasoned, but the serving was skimpy for $5.

The taco came on a pre-fab shell, a sure sign that you are eating at a substandard Mexican restaurant. If they do not even bother to fry their own taco shells, that tells you about their commitment to excellence and customer satisfaction. Tacos are one of America's favorite foods, so why would anybody eat at a place that uses Rosarita or Old El Paso taco shells? There was plenty of ground beef, but it was an odd red color and so greasy (see video below) that the crappy shell was falling apart shortly after arriving at my table. I had to eat the last half off of the plate with my fork.

The cheese and onion enchilada was the sole highlight of the meal, but that is not saying much. The supposed "chimichanga" that I ordered was actually a very small burrito, the smallest flour tortilla I have ever seen with shredded beef inside and two small dabs of guacamole on top. I asked the server if that was what they call a "chimichanga" and he said it was, telling me that it was supposed to be deep fried, a step they apparently had missed. Being so dismayed by my experience, I politely declined when he offered to have it remade.

The service was friendly and good with the food coming very fast and my water glass topped-up without delay. Unfortunately, the food sucked just like at their sister restaurant a few blocks east and the fork they gave me still had food on it from the last customer. It was not the worst Mexican restaurant I have ever been to, but it was close.

CombatCritic Gives Los Dos Compadres 3 Bombs Out Of 10 ... More Bombs Are Better!

Three Bombs Equates To:

Translation for Civilians: "Situation Normal, All Fucked Up"

Thursday, May 24, 2018

Camas, WA: Extremely Underwhelming - An Unfortunate Trend In Recent Weeks

Feast At 316
316 Dallas Street
Camas, WA 98607
Phone number (360) 210-7498
Website: camasfeast316.com
Prices: $$$$

After hearing and reading good things about Feast at 316, we decided to invite some friends from Gresham for lunch after having attended my wife's presentation on Emily Brönte at the Camas Public Library around the corner. The place was empty when we arrived, a relatively small dining room and bar with brick walls, wooden tables and chairs, and chalkboards. At $40 for lunch, including tip, a burger, meatloaf and an IPA ($6), I was not impressed in the least.

The Plain Jane burger ($10) was as described, a simple, decent size beef patty with cheddar cheese on a basic bun, a small lettuce leaf (with a puddle of water still on it), thinly sliced tomato and onion, and homemade sweet pickle slices that were not very good. The accompanying steak fries appeared to be cut in-house and were seasoned well, but lukewarm, not hot. Not a bad value overall, but the meat had an odd taste.

My McCusker Meatloaf ($15) was wrapped in bacon and a puff pastry, but very dry with no gravy or sauce. It had obviously been sitting somewhere for quite a while because it was, like the fries, lukewarm, had little flavor, and fell apart when cut with my fork, making it difficult to eat. The "smash fried potatoes" seemed more like burnt potato skins than fried potatoes, sitting on a red sauce, apparently their "Monkey Gland" sauce, which tasted as bad as the name sounds. The accompanying brussel sprouts came in a bacon Dijon sauce and were too rich for me to finish. Believe it or not, the same meatloaf is $25 on their dinner menu, but I felt ripped off having paid $15 for the lunch version, neither coming with soup, salad, and/or bread.

Pasta dishes run $22 to $27 and other entrees range from $23 (chicken) to $43 (8 ounce filet) on the dinner menu. At $27, their "Fettucine" Bolognese (misspelled on the menu - it should be "fettuccine" with two Cs) costs three times more than the best and most expensive Bolognese I have ever had in Italy. Based on our lunch experience and their dinner menu prices, I do not see myself spending $100 on a mediocre, lukewarm dinner for two any time soon.

At least they do not have a 5% surcharge for non-tipped employees any longer, apparently having decided to pay their employees a fair wage without gouging customers any more than they already do.

CombatCritic Gives Feast At 316 3 Bombs Out Of 10 ... More Bombs Are Better!

Three Bombs Equates To:

Translation for Civilians: "Situation Normal, All Fucked Up"

Sunday, April 15, 2018

Turned Away And Insulted After Being Two Minutes Late For A Three Minute Pizza

Pizzeria La Sorrentina
9811 NE15th Avenue
Vancouver, WA 98665
Phone number (360) 980-1651
Website: lasorrentinavw.com
Prices: $$$$

We drove nearly 30 minutes from our home, arriving just two minutes after their 2PM "closing" time due to unexpected traffic. We were hoping to sample their offerings because, having lived in Naples, Italy for three years and being married to an Italian (my wife's family still lives in Naples and we visit quite often), I love authentic pizza Napoletana and was curious to see just how authentic theirs was.

When we arrived, the oven was still going strong and the two employees were still there prepping for dinner with the door and window open. We stood there for a minute while the woman looked at us without saying a word, so I finally asked her "Are you closed?" to which she responded only with a "Yes". I was a bit shocked because there was absolutely no reason to turn us away and they did not even bother to tell us why they would not serve us at 2:02 PM.

If this was a sit down restaurant, I could understand why we would not be served and would not expect it. However, having eaten many pizzas in Naples and attended a "pizzaiolo" (pizza maker) course in their this past February, I know that a Neapolitan pizza takes less than 90 seconds to prepare and about 60-90 seconds to bake at 485 degrees Fahrenheit. I understand that they were "officially" closed and may have had things to do, but taking 3 minutes to make a pizza for a customer was, I believe, not too much to expect.

The restaurant business and customer service are all about making customers happy and turning us away so rudely was, in my opinion, uncalled for. Having spent a great deal of time in the business and owned a very successful mobile food operation myself, I would have never turned a customer away in similar circumstances, but that is just me.

After leaving a tip on Yelp regarding my experience, someone (whom I am assuming was the owner or manager) sent me a compliment with a "You're Funny" tag stating:

"I'm not going to serve pizza anyone even 1minutes late. Please come during business sir. Thank you"

Part of my responsibility to readers on Yelp, my blog, and other sites is to provide an accurate, honest "opinion" based on my experiences, so I did not appreciate being laughed at ("You're Funny") because I take my responsibilities and commitment to my readers very seriously. A more professional and customer-oriented response would have been much more appropriate in my opinion. For example: "I am very sorry that we had to turn you away, but our employees were busy prepping for dinner and could not take the time to serve you. Please accept our sincere apology and come back to visit us very soon!" would have been a much more appropriate response and they would have likely gained a return customer. Unfortunately, based on our negative experience and the business's insulting reaction to my tip, I will not be returning any time soon. Not an unreasonable person, if an apology is forthcoming, I may consider giving them another chance and revising my review/rating.

CombatCritic Gives Pizzeria La Sorrentina 1 Bomb Out Of 10 And A Spot On My "WALL OF SHAME" ... More Bombs Are Better!

One Bomb Equates To:

Translation for Civilians: "Fucked Up Beyond All Repair"

Wednesday, February 8, 2017

Vancouver, WA: Quiet, Clean, Private, And Affordable Airbnb Apartment Or Room

Chris and Michelle's Clean, Quiet and Safe - No Cleaning Fee - Full Bed
Vancouver, WA
Airbnb Link

Prices: $$$$

I found this quiet, comfortable place on Airbnb short notice after "The Nightmare On Lombard Street" and Michelle and Chris were more than happy to oblige. They welcomed me warmly and I soon had a new home ... for five nights.

The house is in a residential neighborhood FAR from any restaurants or shops, so a vehicle is recommended. It is a nice 1950s home with lots of brick and wood floors. Chris and Michelle live in the mother-in-law apartment in the basement, leaving three bedrooms, a bath and a half, large living room, dining room, and remodeled kitchen.

There was just one other couple there, for one night - they were asked not to extend, during my entire stay, so with Chris and Michelle spending the vast majority of time downstairs, I pretty much had the place to myself. The kitchen is fully stocked with plates, pots, pans, silverware, Keurig coffee maker (and coffee), fridge. gas stove, microwave and dishwasher, everything you need to self-cater if that is your bag.

The living room couch has Lazy Boy style pop-out foot rests on each end of the couch, but the TV only gets over the air broadcasts (no cable/Netflix/HBO/Etc), but the Wi-Fi is fast and dependable, so I enjoyed Amazon Video, Netflix, HBO, CBS All Access, and Sling since we went cable free (like they did) on my computer or tablet.

Smoking is allowed (hey, it's Washington, so ANYTHING goes), but only on the back porch where you will find a table with ashtray and two comfy chairs overlooking a massive backyard.

I had the smaller of the three bedrooms, but it was plenty big for me with a double bed, small dresser, nightstand with light, and small closet (empty - I have stayed places where the hosts pack the closet with their own stuff, making it impossible to hang clothes). The bathroom was right across the hall, but is shared by three guest rooms if all are booked.

I spent most of my time in the house spent in the dining room where I set-up my computer during most of the stay (Chris and Michelle had no problem with it) and living room where I watched the Super Bowl and news on Fox or streaming movies or series on my tablet.

It was very quiet, comfortable and relaxed. Chris and Michelle chilled in the basement most of my stay and had no rules other that you "smoke 'em if you got 'em" out on the back porch. Otherwise, I felt at home with no stress or interference from my wonderful hosts or other guests.

The only negatives, if you want to call them that, are the remoteness of the house from restaurants and shopping (which I did not mind because I had a rental car) and the lack of cable or streaming video services. Otherwise, this Airbnb is top notch and an excellent value smack in the center of Vancouver and just a few miles from downtown, malls, restaurants and shopping.

CombatCritic Gives Chris and Michelle's Clean, Safe, No Cleaning Fee, Full Bed 9 Bombs Out Of 10 ... More Bombs Are Better!

Nine Bombs Equates To:

Read Reviews By CombatCritic:

Yelp - Elite '14/'15/'16/'17

Tabelog - Official Judge (Silver)

Zomato - #1 Ranked "Verified" Foodie

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Title: Vancouver, WA: Quiet, Clean, Private, And Affordable Airbnb Apartment Or Room

Key Words: Chris, Michelle, Clean, Quiet, Safe, Airbnb, room, hotel, accommodation, apartment, Vancouver, Washington, Portland, Oregon, CombatCritic, TravelValue, travel, value, review, Yelp

Translation for Civilians: OOH-RAH = "U.S. Marine Response To A Verbal Greeting Or As An Expression Of Enthusiasm"